The Office Dictionary:

[Competitive Salary]: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

[Join Our Fast-Paced Company]: We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.

[Nationally Recognized Leader]: Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.

[Immediate Opening]: The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago.  We're just now running the ad.

[Self-Motivated]: Management won't answer questions.